The fig roll is king of biscuits, Jaffa cake queen and dark chocolate ginger the prince.
Fans of hardtack from Glasgow’s east end will demure, but your icons come in at over 100 calories, though a Caramel Log (before hoovering) on another day might be top three. The correct Order Of The Tunnock is Log, Teacake, Wafer. Prove me wrong.
We are all different. One woman’s Wagon Wheel is another man’s Garibaldi. I do not understand Hobnobs.
Being alone in a room with a fistful of chocolate chip is a joy from the halcyon days of Lockdown, and I urge you to continue on TWATs when back in the office: take a pack, stash, be careful who you share with. The look from the dog is not disapproval and cats are never invited to the office.
It’s about more than the cookie though. I’m with Kirsty and Phil and Bananarama; it ain’t what you do it’s the location that you do it.
Lemon shortcake rounds, whizzing north in the dark from London City, were always tasty but now BA have swapped in a 350 calorie brownie I am back on spicy tomato juice and crisps.
Five tea biscuits- or two with mature cheddar- are ideal on the sofa with a mug of tea and half the calories of two slices of buttered toast with jam.
Pot luck from the barrel at mum’s, maybe an orange Club at a hefty 116 if she has no home baking, always inspires the sweet melancholy of Wednesday visits with Matt and Hannah. Have you tried a McVities Gold? Oh my…
It’s not obsessive to know the calories of what’s going in and you don’t need to log the lot, but a little mental arithmetic is cool:
The 70p bag of Maltesers comes in at 186 calories. Savour ‘em, suck ‘em and make them last all your favourite sitcom: a bargain in every way.
Four fingers of KitKat are a terrific 209, though they were 215 so are getting smaller. Star Bars are chewy-caramel-peanut-tastic and a full 250 but always worth it.
Covent Garden’s Coffee ice cream in a cone is 220 and a fiver, it’s a summertime luxury. I am thankful it’s a seven minute walk.
Three fig rolls, four Jaffas or two chocolate gingers come in at around 200 calories. All are perfect for a snack but too moreish, so dangerous to have in a hotel room. Eat them when hungry and you’ll not stop because like poor Oscar, we can resist anything except temptation. Never buy the box of Maltesers intending them to last the week because they’ll be gone by 7am Wednesday.
For the same 200 you can have two slices of mature cheddar and three of wafer thin ham; double that up and for 400 calories you’re full, but that’s another story.
For now, have a break, mibby a Kit Kat. Stick to two fingers if you can and it’s an amazing 104.
There are 140 in two hobnobs. My work here is done.